Egg Salad Sandwiches
by VeggieVamp
Summary: One shot story. Don't read if you fear wasting your time or complete randomness. Jake loses his egg salad sandwich. Bella craves lima beans.


Floffles and Vampires

Egg Salad Sandwiches

Author's Note: I know everybody's seriously OOC, and I'm not that great at writing. Try to understand before you have me committed.

Jacob was annoyed. No, he was more than annoyed. He was pissed. The kind when it feels like you're PMS-ing, except he was a guy. He tried to focus on the task at hand before he could get sidetracked with his random thoughts. His mission is to find the other half of his egg salad sandwich. He was sure he had put it in his gym bag last week, but it wasn't there, and his stomach was growling so much, it sounded like a vampire. Jacob snarled at it, and then felt rather stupid and slightly insane as he did so.

After almost half a day of searching his room, and making quite a mess too, he decided to visit Bella and leave the mess for the elves to clean up. But of course, elves don't exist, so his room remained in its messy state.

Meanwhile, at the Cullen house, Bella was sitting in Edward's lap, watching some lame chick flick while Alice complained about Bella's lack of fashion sense in the background. She tried to ignore the little freak and concentrate on the movie but Alice kept rambling until Bella growled in frustration. Edward smiled at Bella before turning to the other vampire with an amused expression on his face. "Alice, if you keep on criticizing my fiancée, then I'll be forced to threaten the safety of your credit cards."

Alice gasped, a look of sheer horror spreading on her thin face. "You wouldn't." She stated, but otherwise shut her mouth. Bella sighed in relief as she snuggled into Edward's chest. "My hero." She whispered. Suddenly, her stomach grumbled, and Edward laughed. "Supper time for the human?" He suggested.

"Of course. I'm suddenly craving lima beans." Bella spoke up. Edward was still wearing his amused expression. "I don't quite trust your instincts." He remarked as he lifted Bella off the couch and headed to the garage. Bella frowned as she tried to see the hidden meaning in his words, "What do you mean?"

"Well, for one, you don't have normal human reactions, like you should be afraid of me and my family. But here you are," Edward mused softly. The two were already seated in the car and he was speeding down the road as usual. "And also because last week, you had a craving for haggis."

Bella frowned at the memory as she stared out the window when something caught her eye. Jacob was waving his arms while jumping up and down. The effect was quite comical. "STOP!" She yelled at Edward. The car squealed to a halt and Bella got out excitedly.

"OH JACOB!" She laughed as she hugged him. "Hey Bells." He smiled and gave her a big bear hug. "It seems like just yesterday when I saw you! You've grown so much!" She squealed excitedly.

"Actually, Bella," Edward interrupted, "You were over at Jacob's this morning." Bella looked confuzzled. "Really?" Jacob was now bouncing up and down on the spot, shifting his weight every few seconds. "Are you okay, Jake?" Bella asked. "You look like you're missing half a egg salad sandwich, or you really got to use the little werewolf room."

"I'm missing half my egg salad sandwich." Jacob explained. Bella and Edward were both wearing bemused expressions as Jake confessed his craving for an egg salad sandwich. "You don't happen to have any, do you?" He concluded.

"Er…I don't carry egg salad sandwiches around with me." Edward said and Bella shook her head, looking as if she might pee her pants from laughing any minute. "You know, it doesn't work for my 'cool guy' vibe thing and also because vampires don't eat." Jacob looked so down that Bella felt it to be her task to make him feel better. She decided to tell him the haggis story to cheer him up.

"You know, last week, I had a craving for haggis-" Bella began but Jacob suddenly froze, a huge grin spreading across his face. "That's it! Haggis is so much better than an egg salad sandwich! Thanks Bells!" With that, he took off to the little werewolf room because he really had to go.

"What just happened?" Bella asked, bewildered. "Let's just say that you don't want to go anywhere near Jake's breath for the next month." Edward chuckled as he led them back to the Volvo. "You know, compared to haggis, maybe lima beans aren't such a bad idea after all."


End file.
